photo by VickyvS'
As I was thinking about the fourth week of Advent being the week of love, I was reminded of how love is a choice.
This sounds simple enough, right? I remember a time when I was growing in my relationship with the Lord that I asked a friend ‘How do you love God?’ The response I received, albeit a bit cheesy, comes from an old DC Talk song “Love is a Verb.”
Love is an action, a choice. It’s a decision.
While love is sometimes accompanied by emotions and feelings of fulfillment and joy, more often than not we have to work to love those in our lives. Love does not come naturally. Sometimes it can feel more of a chore than a joy. Who wants to do the laundry again? Or spend an afternoon running kids between activities? Or work a tiring, boring job so the bills are paid? Love is often a sacrifice. And sacrifices rarely feel good in the moment.
While we should always aim to love others better than we love ourselves, we shouldn’t–at least I don’t think–expect ourselves to get it right the first time or feel the greatest joy when doing it. Does that make sense? Loving people is a lot of work!
One struggle for me, and I assume for many others as well, is that love is so closely associated in our culture with happiness and good feelings. The detriment here is that when we don’t feel happy, but still need to love amid our own yucky feelings, we feel like we aren’t loving. The idea that love is emotion wrecks our relationships and often our ability to love. We feel that we’re loving wrong, not enough, or that because we longer feel certain emotions love does not existence (hence the dissolving of many relationships).
While I believe we should pursue joy in loving others, I don’t believe it must coincide with every action of love. Sometimes action must proceed response. If we are obedience to respond in love, then the heart attitude of love will follow. It may take time, but it will come.
This reminds me of Jesus’ time in the garden of Gethsemane and his way to the cross. He wasn’t singing praises or joyfully skipping through the streets as he carried the cross. No–he prayed, with blood on his face, asking God to take away “this cup.”
It wasn’t that Jesus didn’t love the Father and was seeking a way out. He knew it would be painful, but in the end he would do what pleased the Father. Why? Because he loved Him.
Love is not always easy. It’s a choice.
As we continue in this season of Advent, let’s remember that we love because He first loved us and are to extend that same love and grace to those in our lives. Love may be a choice, but it’s also a gift–first, to us and then to others.
Love wisely, love humbly.
Remember we’re just as undeserving of love as the last annoying, inconvenient person we met.
