Motherhood & Loss

I’ve been thinking a lot about babies lately. I know a lot of women who are pregnant, with newborns, and we’re hoping for another one ourselves. Anytime I think of babies I almost always go back to the time when I first became a mother.

If things had not happened the way they had 2 1/2 years ago I would have a two-year-old.

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I hate when I hear people ask a pregnant women, “Are you excited about becoming a mother?”

A pregnant woman is not waiting to become a mother…she already is. Motherhood, like life, begins at conception. As soon as that child is conceived the mother’s body begins to cultivate and protect that child. Motherhood doesn’t begin when you first hold your baby in your arms. The investment, emotion, and risk begin long before the first wail.

You don’t wait to love your child until they enter the world. You love with the shades of double pink lines, with the loud oceany heartbeat, and the first picture…even if your baby does resemble an alien. You love.

And anytime you love, you risk.

Motherhood is a risk, because there is no guarantee.

There’s no guarantee that your child will be obedient, quiet, a lover of Jesus. There’s no guarantee that they’ll sleep through the night or respect you when you say “no.” There’s no guarantee that they’ll escape the terrible twos or stereotypical teenage years. There’s no guarantee that your child will be successful, smart, or well-mannered. There’s no guarantee that your child will always be safe, always be well.  There’s no guarantee that your child will live longer than you. There’s no guarantee that your child will make it out of the womb alive.

And yet you love.

Motherhood is a risk, because there is so much to lose.

I have loved and I have lost and I have gained and loved again. And this I know for sure…God is good all the time.

Join me over the next week as I share my story and the stories of others who have risked, lost, and loved in motherhood.

Tagged as: children, loss, miscarriage, motherhood, story