This morning I picked up My Utmost for His Highest and flipped to today’s date. I rarely read it. Sometimes Chambers comes off as a ‘holier than thou’ know-it-all, but this morning I was drawn in by the string of questions that began the devotional:
Do you have even the slightest reliance on anything or anyone other than God?
Is there a remnant of reliance left on any natural quality within you, or on any particular set of circumstances?
Are you relying on yourself in any manner whatsoever regarding this new proposal or plan which God has placed before you?
[...] It really is true to say, “I cannot live a holy life,” but you can decide to let Jesus Christ make you holy. “You cannot serve the Lord…”–but you can place yourself in the proper position where God’s almighty power will flow through you.
Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest (July 9)
He makes a point that oftentimes its not whether Jesus can really do what He says he can do, but our belief. More accurately…our unbelief.
We say, “Oh, if only I really could believe!” The question is, “Will I believe?” No wonder Jesus Christ placed such emphasis on the sin of unbelief. “He did not do many mighty works there because of their unbelief” (Mt. 13:58).
If we really believed that God meant what He said, just imagine what we would be like!
Do I really dare to let God be to me all that He says He will be?
Just imagine what we would be like if we lived as we truly are.
Cleansed. Sanctified. Holy. Blameless. Unoffended. Content. Loved. Confident. Secure. Free.
I let these questions soak as I sat in the morning quiet,
Is reliance on myself holding me back from being who I truly am? Is unbelief hindering God’s work in me? What am I not believing to be true about God? Am I allowing God to be all that He says and is to me?
Then I began to ask God what he thought.
It didn’t take long for him to answer. In short, I’m an unbelieving sinner walking in self-reliance independent of God…but only behind the scenes. Getting by on what I know and how I’ve experienced God in the past.
I wouldn’t have really pegged myself as walking in unbelief, but cloaked behind my secure exterior are doubts of God’s goodness, His provision, His protection and reliability.
I struggle with believing that God is enough. I struggle with believing that God will give me what I need.
But the truth?
He is enough. He will take care of me. He will provide for me. I will not be alone.
It’s humbling when you realize you’re not truly trusting your Savior. Humbling and sad…but refreshing to be reminded that who I once was is no more.
Sure its ugly head roars every now and then, but to know there is a Truth that is patience, compassionate to people who are like sheep without a shepherd, and ever faithful to lead me back–accept me–without condemnation…that is a Savior worth serving and a Truth worth believing.
He is enough.
What about you? What are you relying on other than God? Do you dare to let God be to you all that He is?
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wow…that was powerful! I know that I have not allowed God to be to me all that He is and I rely on things/others rather than God way more than I should. I wish I could say that wasn’t true, but I know I need to rely on God more than I do. I long for Him to be to me ALL that He is, but the fear of it all stops me. thanks for sharing this and for challenging me to grow even deeper and closer to Him.