{day 1} Before Significance, There’s Insignificance

by Jessica on October 1, 2011

It’s here. October. Fall is blowing in, the seasons change. Life is being lived in the in-between. And today, well, today is the start of a journey into significance. It’s a battle and a gift. But it starts at insignificance.

I share this as a sojourner who struggles, who looks to the Father and says, “I know this isn’t who I am.” I fight the pressure and the lies that tell me my worth is measured by how I look or what I do or how well my children behave.

This is a journey…one I hope you will travel along with…

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Insignificance is something I’ve longed to write about, yet never had the courage to push publish. Maybe it’s because I still struggle with this battle. I don’t want people to read what I have to say and think I’ve arrived…that I’m past this struggle. Because I’m not.

But I know that there’s not one person who doesn’t deal with insignificance, who hasn’t felt insignificant at some point in their life. And really, I believe it’s one of Satan’s favorite playgrounds.

So I write.

I originally wrote this for a mother/daughter retreat and as I was preparing for it I heard Bethany Dillon’s song Beautiful. I remember thinking, This is what insignificance feels like.

It’s that desire to be fully loved and fully known, yet safe. Insignificance cries out, “Am I good enough? Am I worthy? Am I beautiful?”

It creates this debilitating fear that we are worthless and suddenly the truth of how God sees us is lost.

We struggle to fit in, to find value amid our culture. We fear we’re not important or don’t measure up.

The thought plagues us, Is there somebody out there who will love me completely and unconditionally?

We struggle to fight the feeling that we somehow just don’t matter.

Insignificance is a great hindrance to living free and full lives in Christ.

If we’re walking in insignificance we’re not walking in grace, we’re not living in the power of Jesus’ death and resurrection. We are living and believing a lie.

This week I’m excited and nervous to share what I’ve learned through my own battle with insignificance. I know He has some new lessons to teach me along the way…I can feel the molding beginning in my heart. Breaking will come.

But I know He is faithful and He is true and He is secure. And on the other side?

Beautiful freedom awaits.

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Looking for the rest of the series? Here you go: 31 Days of Significance.

{ 2 trackbacks }

Reflections of a Princess: ... the musing and meanderings of a daughter of the King ...: October 2, 2011 at 4:27 pm
Reflections of a Princess: ... the musing and meanderings of a daughter of the King ...: October 3, 2011 at 3:45 pm

{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Positively Alene October 1, 2011 at 12:40 am

I’m going to love these 31 days. This will be a great thing to write about for a month. Many of us struggle…thanks.

2 Tay October 1, 2011 at 1:45 am

When I opened up my Google Reader, I was so excited to find out that nine of my favorite women are participating in the 31 days series and you are one of them! I am going to be reading about a ton of different topics this month, but I am so glad that I get to read about significance.

Thank you so much for making this commitment to write for 31 days! I am so looking forward to it!!!

3 Jessica October 2, 2011 at 10:04 pm: Thanks, Tay! I feel honored…glad you’ll be joining in.

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4 bendedspoon October 1, 2011 at 3:50 am

I got a feeling this will be real good 31 days! Glad you share your significant self

5 KC October 1, 2011 at 9:55 am

i am looking forward to reading all you have to say in the next 31 days about insignificance. it sure can be a battle. thank you for being willing to share and for being vulnerable. you are safe here.

6 Jessica October 2, 2011 at 10:12 pm: Thank you for your graciousness.

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7 Linda Deal October 1, 2011 at 9:56 am

You’re an inspiration to me. I was raised to be insignificant. Not knowing any better, I raised my children to be insignificant. It’s time to break the mold. We are all significant. It’s a God thing. ;o)

8 Jessica October 2, 2011 at 10:06 pm: Ah, Linda…thanks for sharing and being transparent. It is so easy to pass on those ingrained behaviors, but so thankful that with God there is grace and newness. There’s always hope and just like you said, “it’s time to break the mold.”

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9 Ashley October 1, 2011 at 12:54 pm

I absolutely CANNOT WAIT to read more!

10 Stacey October 1, 2011 at 3:32 pm

“If we’re walking in insignificance we’re not walking in grace, we’re not living in the power of Jesus’ death and resurrection. We are living and believing a lie.”

That is so true! We were made for more.

Looking forward to seeing what God shows you over the next month!

11 Jessica October 2, 2011 at 10:09 pm: Thanks, Stacy!

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12 Lisa @ Life is Crazy Beautiful October 1, 2011 at 5:14 pm

“If we’re walking in insignificance we’re not walking in grace, we’re not living in the power of Jesus’ death and resurrection. We are living and believing a lie.” – awesome! I look forward to checking out your posts!

13 Jessica October 2, 2011 at 10:10 pm: Thanks, Lisa!

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14 Maria @ A Blooming Spirit October 1, 2011 at 5:34 pm

I am visiting your blog for the first time and I can tell that I will love following along on this journey of significance. I can tell from your words that the Breaking will come and like you I am feeling the molding in my heart too.

15 Melissa October 1, 2011 at 5:46 pm