I’ve been there before. You know the spot? The one where you stand before the mirror and pick off every little thing you don’t like about yourself, your face, your body, your life. Your scraggly hair, that spot on your teeth, the way you never know what to say, how it’s your turn in line and you didn’t count the right change.
Yes, I’ve been there.
I’ve sprawled words page after page of how horrible, worthless and good for nothing I was. I’ve soaked my insecurity and my self-hatred in food and TV and accolades and punishment…maybe if I just did more, worked harder I’d right the wrongs.
Even tonight, right after I finished working out I turned to my husband and said, “I’d be happy with my body if my belly wasn’t so flabby.”
There were years I’d look in the mirror and wish I could scrape away the face I saw. I didn’t want to be that person. Tired, alone, hidden, scared…living in bondage and fear. Never good enough. Always straining.
My life wasn’t turning out as I hoped and all I saw was “failure” painted in big, bold, red letters.
I believed the lies over and over again. People spoke curses instead of blessings, kids teased, media preached, peers excluded and over and over I believed what they said was true.
But all along…it wasn’t.
It wasn’t.
It isn’t.
(Do you hear that?)
The years I’ve wasted, the stress I’ve accumulated, the preconceived notion that I somehow live in other people’s minds and know what they think about me…all of that was life wasted…
It didn’t matter–none of it! It doesn’t matter even now, why?
Because Jesus says something different.
And even though I may stand at that mirror and it spits in my face, that mirror is wrong and I need to find a new reflection. The mirror I looked at held me in bondage and I stayed willingly.
But when Jesus sets a child free, when he comes in for the rescue and changes the dirty, filthy rags to a brilliant robe of white something happens…we are not who we see, who the world sees, who the mirror sees.
We are who Jesus sees.
We are broken, wayward sheep he took into his loving arms and had compassion on.
We are prostitutes, pursuing worthless lovers and he goes out in the wilderness to woo us back.
He marks us with a promise.
He calls us His Bride.
There’s nothing we have to do, nothing we have to be, nothing we have to pay, because He has done it all. He calls and says, “Drop the lies, drop the cover…what the enemy says is lies. You are not that. You are who I say you are and that is wonderful to me.’”
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I know we all have a story when it comes to insecurity and self-hatred,
What’s yours and where are you at on your journey?
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We’re at Day 19 in this 31 Days of Significance. It’s been a bit emotional and thought-provoking for me, and it’s caused me to reassess my reactions and attitudes to see if I’m walking in significance or not. But I’m wondering, how’s the journey been for you?
Other attitudes of insignificance:
{day 17} Gripping the Millstone – Bitterness & Resentment
{day 18} When Self Reigns – Selfishness & Self-promotion
{day 20} Dressed in Mourning – Despair & Hopelessness
{day 21} Always the Leader – Control & Power Struggles
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Powerful words-thank you. Why is it so easy for us to believe tbe lie when Jesus has gone to so much trouble to tell us the truth? I think we’d be discouraged less often if we didn’t help out the enemy so much in his efforts to defeat us! Thanks for reminding us that choosing to believe the truth over the lie is a choice we must make daily!
So, so true!! Preach it girl!! That is solid truth
Love this today!! Especially this:
Because Jesus says something different.
I don’t have to believe the lie that I’m not good enough. That I’m not worthy. I don’t have to be because He is!!! And I. am. His.