Emotions come like flood waters rise. I’ve been hit by waves unprepared and sent tossing under the forceful current. There have been times when I didn’t know what to do, something didn’t turn out just right, I notice everything piling up around me (emotionally and physically), and I’m ready to just throw in the towel…there’ s no way it can be fixed or I can catch up.
I talespin into hopelessness like a new driver on black ice. It comes out of nowhere and instead of catching myself I go with it. I join the ranks of woe is me.
I’m overwhelmed with despair and it’s not a despair rooted in reality or science…it’s one that looks with physical eyes and all I see is hardship, darkness, and a deceptive brook.
There’s no light, no possibility, no future.
I’ve convinced myself things will only get worse and maybe I’m to blame.
I feel out of control, unconnected to any resemblance of the truth.
I walk around with an attitude that preaches Jesus never lived.
This attitude of insignificance…the sadness, despair, hopelessness
I don’t believe I”m needed, so I don’t try.
The idea of hope is a long shot.
I can’t do anything…I’m powerless.
Do you recognize these are all lies?
If Jesus is alive, there is no reason for despair.
If we have been redeemed, Hope is alive and well and dwelling in our hearts.
If God is who he says he is then our mourning has been turned to dancing.
******
{Note: I am not saying we shouldn’t mourn loss. We should. It’s healthy. What I am saying is that we shouldn’t live in a posture where all we do is mourn and grieve and we don’t notice the hope God gives. I also want to say depression is real and it’s important to get help. What I’m talking about here is choosing despair, choosing to walk in hopelessness. It’s not an easy cycle to stop, but God is our hope and our longing. He will meet us there.}
******
Other attitudes of insignificance:
{day 17} Gripping the Millstone – Bitterness & Resentment
{day 18} When Self Reigns – Selfishness & Self-promotion
{day 19} When the Mirror Spits Back – Insecurity
{day 21} Always the Leader – Control & Power Struggles
