Reflections of a Princess: ... the musing and meanderings of a daughter of the King ...

It’s anniversary week…if you didn’t get a chance to read how my husband and I met check out yesterday’s post.

It happened Sunday, August 6, 2006. Jessica had just gotten back from a week in Tacoma, Washington at the Jesus Ministry Conference. She was feeling free and alive, quite the Esther. A whole week without Joe allowed for a greater move of God in her life, but she was glad to see him again.

To fully understand the beauty and magnitude of this day there are some things you have to understand:

From the beginning both Joe and Jess were purposeful in their intentions. They were here to see if this was where God wanted them.
At the start of their relationship, Joe had told Jessica if he hadn’t proposed by December (within a year), she was completely free to go.
Those three words, “I love you,” had never been said. Joe would only say them when he proposed. And, yes, there were lots of conversations about “the words.” For Jessica, “I like you…a lot” didn’t seem to hold nearly the same meaning even if Joe inferred that he felt it.
“Beautiful” was another word Joe had decided not to say until he proposed. To him the word itself was a commitment. And, as with “I love you,” “pretty” didn’t seem to hold the same affect.

With this as our background, we can return to the story.

Sunday started off as any other Sunday. They went to church and then to lunch and back to Joe’s house. There they spent some time reading Let the Nations Be Glad (by John Piper) and decided to have their time of singing worship at Hilltop Park. Joe said he wanted to change into nicer pants, since Jessica was dressed nicely. He ended up staying dressed as he was.

It was a calm and refreshing day at Hilltop Park. At Hilltop Park, Joe and Jessica have a bench that is “their” bench and as they were walking toward it they noticed someone was already sitting there. It just happened to be there friend Ann. They started talking to Ann and she mentioned she was getting up to leave and the bench would be open. So they sat.

Joe opened up his guitar case and mentioned he was nervous about playing at the park where people were walking by and that he wanted to pray. So he began to pray, but he lead into something different. It was the tune to a song that Jessica knew well, but with that one word. “Beautiful.” Jessica knew what was happening.

Joe was singing a version of James Blunt’s song “Beautiful” with lyrics of his own. After he finished singing he took Jessica’s hands in his own and began to share his heart with her—how he found her to be beautiful, loved her, and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. He spoke of how he was calling her to “arise, and come along,” that they would begin forging their own life together, their own family. And then, he asked her to “Arise, and come…”

He lead her to the edge of the cliff and pointed to the field below, and there she saw it—the question “Will you marry me?” was written in paper plates and with the plates were friends and family. Joe got down on one knee and said, “Jess, will you marry me?”

Her answer?

“Yes!”

Tagged as: courtship, marriage, the proposal

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This week my husband and I are celebrating our third wedding anniversary. Still not very long for some, but longer than many of the newlyweds we know. For us, it’s felt so much longer than three years. So much has happened in those few short years. I am thankful to God for blessing me with such a patient, sacrificial, and loving man. We have been through more than I would have expected–and liked–but God has been and will continue to be faithful to bond us closer together as we are faithful to follow after Him.

So in honor of our anniversary, I’m sharing our story. For some of you it’ll be review and you might find out a detail or two you didn’t know. For newer friends, you’ll get to know us even more. I wrote “our story” as part of a project for our family album, so that’s why it’s in third person…just in case you were wondering.

And as for pictures, there are very few before we were dating. Just wait until tomorrow…there will be pictures.

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To say how we met you’d actually have to go back to before we met. In the summer of 2003, Jessica’s family moved from Japan to San Diego and Jessica headed to South Carolina to attend Winthrop University. During that time, when Jessica would talk to her dad on the phone occasionally he’d mention this guy from church, Joe Mueller. Then, he’d jokingly suggest that she talk to him or hang out with him when she came for a visit.

Jessica came to visit San Diego three times that fall, but still never met this Joe Mueller guy. It wasn’t until Christmas that she saw his face. (It was across the candlelight sanctuary on Christmas Eve. He was walking in the door and she was standing near the front of the sanctuary when her mom pointed him out. He was duly noted.) It wasn’t until Jessica came to visit for the summer that she met Joe—well, kind of.

Joe was he junior high leader and Maddie (my sister) was in junior high at the time. (Later she would say, “It’s so weird! You married my youth pastor.”) Before Jessica arrived Kim (my mom) talked with Ann (the youth pastor’s wife) about befriending Jessica, since she can be quite shy at first. So, on her first Sunday that summer Jessica went with Ann and Karen (Joe’s sister-in-law who also worked with junior high) to youth group. There were no formal introductions—but, needless to say, Joe noticed her.

At the time Jessica was healing from a previous relationship and was not looking for male attention, having decided to say nothing unless someone specifically addressed her with intentions. (Basically, she wasn’t going to make anything of male attention, unless they stated straightforwardly their interest.)

Joe and Jessica continued to move in the same circles. She joined the junior high team and then the youth care group. It turned out that they saw each other every Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday, which also happened to be the days Jessica had off from JYA (a boarding school) in 2004-2005. Later they were put on the same prayer team. Not only did they see each other Sunday mornings, but Sunday nights as well. It was a good opportunity to interact and see each other use their gifts (and vulnerabilities) in ministry in a way that was different from youth.

Unbeknown to Jessica, Joe had started us own plan in 2005. Being the analytical man that he is, it involved five steps and was simply dubbed the “Getting to Know Jess” action plan. The steps were these:

Treat her like a normal person.
Get to know her better (ie, become her friend).
Do things together with friends.
Do things together with (his) family.
Do things together alone.

To Jessica the plan was, at times, awkward. Treating her like a normal person oftentimes happened in the form of what felt like forced compliments or very scripted requests. Getting to know her seemed to be a continual process, which Joe says Jessica made very difficult for him. Doing things with friends involved group dinners, movies at the Lowther’s or Mueller’s, and game nights. Doing things with Joe’s family came after Jessica’s family moved back east and involved Sunday afternoon dinners. It was Joe’s way not only to involve his family, but allow them to get to know Jessica as well.

Joe’s plan came to its culmination in November and December of 2005 with doing things together alone. It could be said that their first unofficial date was over hot chocolate at Starbucks one Sunday evening after prayer. Then there was the evening browsing books at Borders. But it wasn’t until the next weekend—Saturday, December 17th to be exact—that their relationship actually began.

Joe had invited Jessica over to his house to decorate the Christmas tree while they watched Beauty and the Beast (one of her favorite movies). Later Joe took her to Coronado (he had told her earlier to dress warm), there they spent the evening walking around the hotel talking and admiring the Christmas décor. Occasionally, Joe would ask Jessica if she’d like to go get ice cream to which she responded, “No, it’s too cold.” Joe then switched the question to coffee, which she responded with “No, I’m alright.” (Anyone else might see here that Joe was on a mission, but not Jessica. She was still oblivious to what was going on. And everyone still likes to remind her of this.) Finally, they started the ride home. It was a much quieter ride and finally Joe broke the silence with an “Um…” and a pause, to which Jessica asked, “Does the silence make you uncomfortable?”

The reply: “No, there’s just something I want to bring up, but I’m not sure how.”

“Oh.”

Jessica finally got the hint.

Joe continued. He opened up and said that he enjoyed spending time with her and liked her. Then he told Jessica that he wanted to “pursue” her and asked what my thoughts were on that. Her answer?

“Yes.”

To be continued….