Posts tagged as:

growth

Beholding is Becoming

by Jessica on March 22, 2010

This morning was going to be great. That was the plan at least. Breakfast was prepped. Laundry was finished. Lunches were ready. Grocery list completed. Packages ready to be mailed. Blog post outlined. The alarm was set. Bible waiting. My workout clothes were even sitting neatly piled in the bathroom ready to go.

It was a great plan.

But all that prepping keep me up until after midnight, so I missed my alarm. Technically, I did turn it off even know I have no recollection of doing so. My husband says I did.

So, instead of having a wonderfully peaceful and productive morning. I woke up at 7:20 with Joey tapping on the bed. Joe jumped out of bed and started getting ready for his bike commute. I got up, glad breakfast was prepped, and started oatmeal. Joe left with his breakfast in tow as Joey and I sat down to eat. My great plan didn’t seem so far off, but of it was…

Joey broke a bowl, threw food again (and again), hit his head on the floor after falling off the ottoman, cried and whined, threw every toy across the room…and all I wanted to do was have my quiet time, do a little yoga, and get started on our errands. A shower would be nice, but not a necessity.

It was a bad morning. I felt a bit like Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.

But in all honesty, the worst part was my heart. I was so frustrated with Joey and everything he was doing to that was hindering my plans. I didn’t want to be frustrated. I didn’t want to be acting out in sin. But it seemed all I could do was trip over myself–and I still am.

I just want to be like Jesus, not like me. The heart is wicked and deceitful…not to mention hopelessly selfish.

I’ve been reading through 2 Corinthians during my quiet times, so instead of moving ahead in the book I decided to go back to 2 Corinthians 3:18,

And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are - into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.

Today I’m looking to Jesus to save me…as I should every day. Trusting Him to change me even when bowls break, children scream, and plans go awry.

Beholding is becoming, so as you fill my gaze

I become more like You, and my heart is changed

Beholding is becoming, so as You fill my view

Transform me into the likeness of You

Vicky Beeching, Captivated

Tagged as: growth, Lent, Real Life, sin, video, worship

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Persecution in India

by Jessica on February 23, 2010

in The Church

I was going to post a cute picture of my son from the weekend for Wordless Wednesday, but then my husband showed me this video. Justin Taylor posted it on his blog (Persecution in India: These Are Your Brothers and Sisters) and I got to thinking…

While we’re concerned about the rising price of gas, fixing dinner, and what we’re going to wear…

While we’re absorbed in Twitter, Facebook, and our Google Reader…

While we’re commenting about coupons, giveaways, and blogging for money…

While we’re worried about our kids college fund, whether or not our boss likes us, and where we’re going to put the stuff we just bought at Target…

While we’re enjoying good health, worship with our family, and laughter…

This is what’s happening to our brothers and sisters in Christ:

Persecution in India: Francis’ Response from Cornerstone Church on Vimeo.

One commenter had this to say, “The western church cries about healthcare, liberalism, and Obama, while these saints endure death for the Master. Who really are the followers of Jesus?“

I had to ask myself the same thing. Watching this video (and having to ignore the urge to vomit) the inevitable question came, ‘Would I be willing to do the same?’ I’d like to think so, but I’ve yet to see this suffering. It hasn’t even come close.

I have to tell you compassion and mercy aren’t my natural tendencies. If they appear it’s only because Jesus in me is compassionate and merciful. Me? My heart is a hard stone that He is continuing to mold into a heart of flesh. Even watching this I didn’t cry.

It disgusted me, but didn’t really move me–I hate saying that. I want to be moved.

But I feel this is so far away from me (and I don’t just mean physically). I have no relation to this type of suffering. I’ve been hurt, heartbroken, and lost a child, but I’ve never been beaten, bruised, and bloodied for my faith–or for anything. I’ve never had someone kick in me the back just for being a Christian.

I can’t identify with them. They know something I will, most likely, never know. They are truly being counted as knowing Christ and His sufferings. I pray, but my prayers feel so shallow to their needs. I see their faces and think what little comfort I have to offer them. I see this and the thought crosses my mind, How can God let this happen?

And I remember…

God knows their needs and I know Him.

Jesus sees their faces and knows their pain.

God allows this as He allowed His own Son to suffer beyond the point of recognition.

I’m reminded that God will not allow His people to undergo what they cannot bear with Him. So…I’ll pray. Pray for their hearts and minds to be strengthened, for their joy to be inexpressible and glorious, and for their testimony to be true. And that my heart will be softened and changed.

Will you?

Just one more comment: I’ve heard people say that persecution for Christians in America is close. That’s a laughable statement. If you begin to fear for your life, to walk outside your home, to say you believe in Jesus…then persecution may be near. For now–it’s not even close.

Videos from Voice of the Martyrs on the persecution in Orissa:

Tagged as: growth, persecution, Persecution in Orissa, The Church, video

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Sin & the Gospel

by Jessica on February 10, 2010

in growth

One thing God has been teaching me lately is that I make life hard for myself. Not my husband, not my children, not even my circumstances. I do.

It’d be easy to blame my foul mood or frustrations on the fact that my kid hasn’t taken a nap three days in a row, won’t let me cook dinner without holding him, or screams like a banshee when something won’t do what he wants it to. Or I could say it’s my husband’s fault for not knowing exactly what I want, leaving the shower curtain open, and his wet towel on the bed. (By the way, this is hypothetical. Joe has gotten so much better about wet towels since we’ve been married…among other things.)

Sure these things may spin me into a downward spiral of “my life is so horrible,” but only because I let it. Only because I choose how to respond. Instead of looking at things objectively and reacting in grace and mercy all too often I turn the other way. I willfully choose to sin and then push the blame on someone else. I’m ignoring one central thing:

God is the gospel and God is good.

Things are never as bad as they seem with the right perspective. Jesus is in heaven, still sovereign, and still in control. Whatever comes my way he has either brought about or allowed–even when Joey’s been yelling like a banshee all morning and I’m about to pull my hair out and yell right back at him. God is still in control even in that moment.

And I have a choice.

Am I going to choose to walk in sin or the gospel? Am I going to choose to forgive those who offend me and accost the peaceful plans I had for the day? Am I going to rely on the grace of God to see me through? Or take matters into my own hands and see how it goes?

It’s not quite so pretty my way.

You see, the Good News has set me free from the penalty of death, but not only that it has set me free from the power of sin. Sin no longer has mastery over me. I have been given a new life and by that new life through the power of the Holy Spirit in me I can be free to live peaceably amidst the chaos.

God is still in control and His goodness permeates all He does…even in the midst of sanctifying me.