Posts tagged as:

marriage

An Anniversary 500 miles apart

by Jessica on March 17, 2011

in Marriage

Four years later…

debt-free,

one miscarriage,

one trip to Africa,

two babies,

two apartments,

one stint living with your dad,

one cross-country move,

two years at seminary (with more to go),

and the unknown before us.

I often think we’ve experienced more than’s normal for the first years of married life. Maybe not, but it sure feels that way. We’re treading this life together and for that I am glad.

You’re the dreamiest and awesome and the best man for me. I’m so glad you waited through my oblivion and started awkward conversations with me. I could use so many cliches to say how wonderful you are…but I won’t.

I’m thankful you love me just the way I am, even when I look in the mirror and pick myself apart. I love seeing you father our children and how you tell me I can do it…that I’ll pull through…whatever challenge the day brings, even when I feel I’m drowning in it.

I am so blessed that you speak life into me. After years of believing I was worthless and living in rejection, you are the hands and feet and lips of Jesus who says I am worthy and precious in His sight. You are my encourager…my dream pusher when I say it’s stupid and not important.

You lead me and keep me as your friend and lover. We laugh and we cry and sometimes we keep our mouths shut. We’ve got years to grow, my love.

And I love you forever and ever…until we die. Because you and me…we’re only a picture.

Happy Anniversary!

*In case you’re wondering, we’re 500 miles apart because I’m visiting my family in South Carolina while Joe has work and school in Kentucky. :)

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The Picture of Perfect

by Jessica on February 18, 2011

in Living Authentically

I set the vase on the shelf. Light pours through the window dancing off the rosebuds.

They look so pretty sitting there.

I look down.

The remnants of an early morning wake-up and Bible bookmarks. I’m tempted to move them. They’ll soil the picture of perfect.

The thought comes to me,

Real love like real life has no boundaries.

This real love gift is part of my real life: flowers, saline solution, receipts, and all. There aren’t walls to erect that’ll keep the messy out. It’s all part of my life…this love.

We have stains and drop popcorn on the floor. We leave the bathroom door open and talk about things that’d embarrass.  Circles darken our eyes and we wake-up with morning breath (who doesn’t?). We get frustrated, lose tempers, and can’t hear each other over the noise the kids are making.

We steal kisses in scattered, scrambled moments. We laugh and hold those heart connecting moments in seconds instead of hours. Often I laugh at the romantic notions I had in those early days.

To be romantic love had to fit a certain picture: clean, reliable with a hint of spontaneity, filled with flowers and songs strummed and long walks under the stars.

That was before kids and pain and the hard places and the just getting by…before the in-between became real life back when I still held love as that wedding day photo in a gilded frame.

But this—

this love is better. It’s real. All of it. And it’s ours for the taking.

Real love is more than a perfect picture.

It  isn’t pristine. It may be little smudged around the edges, but it’s hardy and tough. It’ll last long after the perfect picture fades.


Perspectives of real love said better than I:

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Three Years Ago…

by Jessica on March 17, 2010

in Marriage

Three years ago today, the flowers were perfectly placed, the gown hung gracefully, the groom spoke emotionally, and the bride beamed as friends and family gathered to celebrate as the Father danced with joy.

Three years ago today we said “I do and I will” until death sweetly parts us.

Three years ago today we promised to love and cherish in sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer.

Three years ago today we started a family with one man and one woman.

Three years ago today we shared our first kiss.

Three years ago today we rejoiced in God’s goodness, pleasure, and faithfulness.

Three years ago today we made a covenant, an unbreakable  promise, to mirror the mystery of Christ and the Church.

And here we stand three, long and short, years later…

…working out our vows each and every day still committed until death.

…we’ve learned what it means that love is more than a feeling, but a decision we must make every day, moment by moment.

…we’ve known what its meant to be rich and poor both in spirit and in physical reality–rejoicing that we have been blessed to give and influence the kingdom.

…we’ve learned that marriage isn’t easy, but requires work. A lot of it. Even when it’s uncomfortable and we don’t feel like it.

…we’ve grown our family to include not one, but two children.

…we’ve known the pain that comes with loss, sin, and suffering.

…we’ve known the humility and joy of repentance and restoration of forgiveness.

…we’ve known that apart from Christ we would fail utterly and miserably.

…we’ve seen the goodness of God in death, resurrection, provision, laughter, joy, and so  much more.

And today, we’re even more stalwart now than we were then to keep our unbreakable promise. The privilege that marriage is, the responsibility, to represent to a dying and dreary world the glorious hope that is Christ and His Bride, the church. The weightiness of this momentary picture.

We’ve come so far and yet still have so much farther to go. Humility. Repentance. Joy. Discovery. Growth. Communication.

Joe, I love you and have known you in ways I wouldn’t have imagined (or could explain) three years ago. You have challenged me in my thinking and expression. You have supported and encouraged me like no one else ever has. You are my constant companion, my faithful friend, my provider, and listener. You mirror Jesus in so many ways. I know you’ll say you don’t see it, but trust me–you do. (What man will go to a job every day that bores him completely, choose to ride his bike after 11pm so his wife can have the car, or gives her his “extra” money for her hobbies?)

You fulfill the command to love me “as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless” (Eph. 5:25-27). I know you don’t do this perfectly and neither do I, but I wouldn’t choose to work out this salvation and picture with anyone else. I love you so much and can’t imagine my life without you. You are such a blessing and joy to me…and I hope I show that to you.

I love you, Joe!

Here’s to many more years…………or until we die…whichever comes first! ;)

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