In all the striving and performing there’s something that a perfectionist often misses. It sits like an old heirloom on the shelf, dusty yet still valued.

In the struggle to be proven worthy what the perfectionist really needs to cling to is this,

…where sin increased, grace abounded all the more. Romans 5:20b

Striving is sin.

One-upmanship is sin.

Insecurity is sin.

Jealousy is sin.

Control is sin.

And yet where all of these have increased in the life of a perfectionist or people-pleaser, grace has abounded all the more.

Grace has been fully supplied.

Grace is plentiful.

Grace is enough.

Enough to heal. Enough to breathe. Enough to live. Enough to be free.

“…as sin reigned in death, grace also might reign through righteousness leading to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.”

Romans 5:21

For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace.

Romans 6:14

Is the perfectionist–though sanctified by Christ–still trying to live under, to perfect, the law?

Are we trying to prove what Jesus has already proven on our behalf?

Why is it so hard for the perfectionist to embrace grace?

Why do we seek to prove? To strive?

Why do we seek to perfect in our lives, in our environment that which we can (or cannot) control?

Is it a lack of trust? A lack of belief? A negligence of the fullness of grace?

Grace means letting go.

Grace means letting go.

GRACE MEANS LETTING GO.

Why do we fear the embrace of grace?

We humbly walk the aisle and receive the free grace, but instead of crawling into Jesus’ lap and weeping like a woman freed from treacherous evil, we graciously shake his hand and with the other take back the ledger against us.

We’re thankful, but not completely yielding.

We’re forgiven, yet still seeking to pay creditors on our own.

We’re capable.

We’re independent.

We’re rebellious.

We’ve yet to let go.

There is a place inside of us that still thinks we can save ourselves.

We cannot. We cannot. We cannot.

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. Ephesians 2:8-9

The heart of a perfectionist cries out,

“See me! Look at me! I’m worthy! I’m important! I’m capable! I’m valuable! Someone, please, notice me!”

The heart of a sinner wrapped in grace says,

“Thank you! You are worthy! You have given me value and worth. In You, I am capable…and I am loved.”

The latter is content, fulfilled, no longer striving, no longer seeking…but at peace to be found in Him.

That is my heart for both you and me, friend.

Perfectionist or not, people-pleaser or not, but to embrace grace, to be content in Him…to be found in Him.

photo credit

Tagged as: authentic, Embracing Grace, perfectionist, recovering perfectionist

{ 5 comments }

The mind of a perfectionist is an interesting labyrinth. The simple becomes complicated. The everyday chores a test of your worth. The opportunity to serve transforms into a display of your wisdom and overwhelming capability.

It’s a hard life, but how else are people going to know how good you are?

But if we’re women in Christ, we really should be living a life that points to Christ and preaches him.

When I think about my life and battle with perfectionism I can’t help but question, at times, the life of faith I live.

I proclaim grace without works (Eph. 2:8-9) and a God that shows no partiality, no distinction in redemption, but my struggle often speaks something else.

I work.

I work to be seen.

I work to be made know.

I work to be credited.

I work to be called worthy.

And yet, Christ calls, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls” (Mt. 11:28-29).

I work when Christ says rest.

What does that say about my belief in God?

And to the one who does not work but believes in him who justifies the ungodly, his faith is counted as righteousness. Romans 4:5

That is why it depends on faith, in order that the promise may rest on grace. Romans 4:16a

No distrust made him [Abraham] waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised (emphasis mine). Romans 4:20-21

God says faith, not works…yet I seek to combine my faith and works (in a way unlike what James admonishes) to prove what Jesus has already proven on my behalf.

If I’m a perfectionist and a people-pleaser, am I “fully convinced” in God’s ability to complete his work in me (Php 1:6), to fulfill his promises and purposes?

Why strive if grace has already proven me worthy?

Do I feel something lacking in grace? Or is it that grace is not enough for me? That justification before God is not enough? Not soul-satisfying?

May it never be!

Yet why the urge–the drive–to seek the approval of man? To be called worthy by my peers? In essence, to be found in them.

If Christ is all I need and all that my worth should be wrapped up in…then, why seek more?

Why is the notice and approval of man so necessary?

Do I not trust God? Do you?

I don’t presume that if you or I struggle with perfectionist and people-pleasing tendencies then we’re not saved or that at our core we don’t believe grace is enough, because it truly is more than enough. But where does the struggle come from?

I believe it comes in the form of fear, doubt, and insecurities—sin. The battle between the flesh and the spirit, the law and grace.

There’s something we’ve yet to fully embrace.

photo credit

Tagged as: authentic, Embracing Grace, perfectionist, recovering perfectionist

{ 4 comments }