When I say freedom, I don’t mean the freedom that comes from being well acquainted with someone….where formalities are unnecessary and even awkward. Nor do I mean the freedom to be who you are free of disapproval or conscious of what others might think.
When I say freedom, I mean freedom in its truest sense.
Being set free.
Broken chains.
No longer enslaved.
Not being subject to tyrannical rule.
This is the definition I hold to,
freedom:
Discovering one’s identity and purpose in Jesus and tearing down every stronghold that opposes walking in the fullness of that identity and purpose.
So when I say I miss the spirit of freedom in my home church, what I’m saying is I miss these things. I miss being surrounded by a group of people who are pursuing their own personal freedom. Who are saying no to sin and the enslavement Satan wrecks in our lives.
It’s not fanatical. No one does this all the time. No one has the greatest attitude every instance sin is confronted and rebuked. There’s an ebb and flow just like in any adventure.
I miss the environment that cultivated such a drive. I miss being encouraged to press on when I didn’t feel like fighting sin or going deeper. I miss seeing the bigger picture or having it painted for me when I couldn’t lift my head.
I miss this pursuit.
I was one of those people and I stopped. I stopped the pursuit and now I just causally confess sin issues that come up…sometimes. I don’t run after them, chase them down until they’re good and dead. There was once a time when I saw what sin stole from me and wanted to take back the ground. I wanted freedom. I desired and craved freedom. I wanted to be set free more and more. Unhindered by fear, rejection, self-hatred, lies from the enemy…I wanted freedom from that and I pursued it.
Now…most days I’m content. I’m content and complacent. Sin isn’t knocking on my door nor are the chains so tight I can hardly breathe, but they’re there. They may just be sitting to the side, but they’re still there.
Some days I may just be standing outside my jail cell, when I should be running toward the open air.
That’s what I miss.
I don’t miss the pursuit for the sake of the pursuit. I miss it because of what it did in me. It gave me a greater hunger for Jesus and the kingdom of God. I was more willing to take chances and be the woman God designed me to be, because I had seen how He worked in my life and the lives of others. I was fueled not for the feeling freedom gave me, but for the view it painted before me.
Fighting sin…fighting for freedom is more than just getting rid of evil and becoming more sanctified. Fighting for freedom is beholding the One who is Almighty, First and Last, Beautiful Redeemer, and Precious Lord.
It is beholding and becoming.
That is what I’m thirsty for.
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